Tag: kiddos Page 7 of 10

The Teeth Acquiring Ceremony

On January 2, 2021

In 08 Months Old, Izzy's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

At 8-months-old, I can finally mark my territory with my army of four teeth. Lesson learned: bite everything except for self. I bit my fingers, forgetting I just got the big front tooth, and those chompers hurt! Imagine what I can do when I have ALL my teeth?! Or the better question is, what can I NOT do?

I need to find more teeth. Pronto.

It is not like they are buried in the ground, and I just have to dig for them. The only way to get them is through the teeth acquiring ceremony. It is usually a pretty rough process. Every few weeks, they will appear out of nowhere after sacrificing my well-being, including loss of appetite and lack of sleep. A warm headache frequently occurs as well – the parents called it a “fever.” They’ll stick a machine in my ears every few hours, exclaiming a number. I’m assuming the higher the number, the more likely the tooth is arriving.

No pain, no gain – after 2-3 days of sacrifice, my gums will itch, and I’ll become a drooling zombie.

Usually, popping a chew toy in my mouth to gnaw at the sore spot will speed up the progress. Sometimes, I cry out in frustration; patience is not a virtue that comes pre-packaged for a baby. After what feels like an eternity, I can feel the head of the teeth peeping out of the gums’ its edges scraping on my delicate tongue. Finally, I’ll get my reward!

I can’t wait to expand my territory with my unlimited saliva supply and strong, sharp teeth.

So far, I have acquired a doll, broccoli stalks, and Mommy’s arms.

A Cotton Candy Christmas

By Izzy Tornado

On December 26, 2020

In 01 Year Old, 15 Months Old, Izzy's Stories

Now I know why everyone is excited about a White Christmas. I mean, who wouldn’t want an unlimited supply of cotton candy falling from the sky? Imagine sitting outside with your tongue out. I can just taste the sweetness as it melts in my mouth mmhmm.

I experienced this magical event at one year old when I watched the fluffy delicacy fall from the sky, scattering over my grandparents’ backyard.

It started growing thicker every hour as if weaving glistening blankets over the tractors to keep them warm. My favorite part is feeling the crunch as the cotton candy flattens underneath my palms and watching it slowly melt on my mittens. After ten or so handprints, I have finally made enough dents to see the green underneath the white sheets.

Then, I witnessed something even more magical.

At the corner of my eyes, I saw a white blob running out of the shed. Then it meowed. It was as if a big (very big), round, fluffy cotton candy fell from the sky and swallowed a cat whole, leaving only its eyes, mouth, and nose exposed. I tried to get closer, but its pointy ears perked up and ran away.

The next day, I found it licking its paws, camouflaged in the bed of cotton candy on the trailer.

It carefully tiptoed towards my Grandpa and rubbed against his right leg. I was hanging onto his other leg for stability since I just learned how to walk. “Oh, hey there, Pretty Lady,” said Grandpa. So it has a name!

My temptations overpowered my body, and I lunged forward, grabbing hold of Pretty Lady.

I wanted to taste her coat of cotton candy, thinking it must be sweeter. I quickly shoved a fistful in my mouth. How disappointing! It was not sweet nor sticky; it … tastes hairy and bland. Yuck. I immediately let go, and Pretty Lady ran away again.

Do yourself a favor and dress up your cat in cotton candy during Christmas (but don’t try to eat it). Only then would you have experienced a real white Christmas.

My Teeth Brushing Partner – Mr. Dino T-Rex

By Izzy Tornado

On December 19, 2020

In 02 Years Old, Izzy's Stories

I always wondered, we take baths and wash every part of our body, but… why stop at only brushing our teeth? I mean, what about the tongue, back of the throat, and in the ears? Those are pretty essential body parts, and

it is my duty as a two-year-old to teach my parents how to clean correctly.

Mr. Dino T-Rex agreed to help me and proved to be a great brushing partner. Every night, he waits for me at the brushing station with his toothbrush leaning on his short little arms. I made sure Mommy watched as I pushed a button, and he opened his mouth wide open. I brushed the back of his throat, the tongue, the top row of teeth, then the bottom, and finally his chin.

Sometimes he likes to have his toes cleaned too.

All clean! I gave Mommy a wide grin. Now, mommy’s turn as I start grabbing for her toothbrush.

Are Babies Evil?

By Izzy Tornado

On December 12, 2020

In 09 Months Old, Under 1 Year Old

“Wahahaha,” I exclaimed as Daddy hit his head on the wall. He laid on the floor for a brief moment and looked at me with a big smile on his face. Then he got up and rammed his head against the wall again, this time screaming, “Boing!”

“Wahahaha,” I chuckled harder.

While trying to catch my breath, Mommy joined the circus. Daddy threw a big red yoga ball at her. Even though the ball missed her, she fell on the floor on all fours. Does Daddy know how to airbend? “Wahahahahha,” I laughed harder this time as she rolled around, my vision blurry as tears formed in my eyes.

Why does seeing other people get hurt make me laugh hysterically?

But the more important question is, why are the parents addicted to hurting themselves? This is insane! I wonder if there is a limit to what they would do…

Fresh Milk Extraction

By Izzy Tornado

On December 5, 2020

In 03 Months Old, Izzy's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

There is something about warm fresh milk from the bosom that makes all the worries of a 3-month-old go away. Like, what am I supposed to do with all the colors when I was used to only seeing shades of black and white? Or the giant monster constantly circling above me called a “fan”? This is a scary world. Even when I screamed at the top of my lungs to put me back into the womb, no one listens. So my only relaxing mechanism is getting fed – every 2 hours. Shout out to “Breast is Best”.

Just the smell of my mother (or her breast milk) makes me drool – no wonder why they called it liquid gold.

But it is a lot of effort to extract my meal. Do you know how hard it is to learn to lick, latch, and suck a milk guzzler at just a few minutes old? I had to use my small little mouth to hang on to that stub.

Then extract milk midair in an awkward position for another 15-30 minutes.

Sometimes when I do latch properly, my little nostril will be clogged by the breast the size of my head. Luckily, a hand always magically appears to press against it so I can breathe easier. Finally, after a few weeks of struggling, I opted for the bottle. Mother expresses it, and the extra gets stored away to age like fine wine. Work smart, not hard – you know what I mean?

Of course, nothing is free in this world; we have an unspoken quid pro quo.

As long as Mother provides a warm meal, I will reward her with my most precious creation, usually once a day. She is always thrilled when I gift her a fresh nugget and kisses me after putting a checkmark on her list.

Is she counting how many nuggets I’m giving her to make sure it’s a fair exchange?

I never got a chance to ask as I get ready to clock out with my full belly. I curled my lips up in satisfaction, falling fast asleep to the thought of my next meal.