Short stories with a comical twist on the daily obstacles, aka adventures, of parenthood

Category: 08 Months Old Page 1 of 2

Baby Dora playing Butterfly Concerto

Butterfly Concerto

“Eh!” I exclaim. Mommy is cleaning the table.

“Eh Eh!” I shout louder this time. Mommy finally turns around and looks at me.

“Dora! How did you get up on the piano again!? You are only 8 months old!” She runs across the living room towards me, extending her hands out as far as possible as if they can stretch like a rubber band. 

Don’t worry; I won’t fall; this is my daily exercise.

She should know by now that I have magical powers.

“Eh eh wa,” I reply. The parents like to place me on the floor but didn’t realize I am practicing for a reward.

“Eh,” I point outside the window with one finger.

She looks outside. Two beautiful yellow swallowtail butterflies are dancing in the garden, fluttering from one flower to the next. 

“Wow, good job Dora. The butterflies are so pretty, thank you for telling me,” Mommy says.

Mommy stands next to me as I bob up and down in excitement, playing Butterfly Concerto on the piano. 

“Let’s get closer,” she picks me up and walks towards the door. 

Standing in the garden, we admire the butterflies the size of Mommy’s palms. Then all of a sudden, another butterfly swoops from the sky and chases after them around the flower bushes.

After a few minutes, they flew away, the biggest one taking the lead as if saying, “Tag, you’re it!”

A Baby’s Early Puberty – The Acne Party

At 8 months old, I got my first taste of early puberty—acne of various sizes emerged from the least expected areas – Hand, Foot, and Mouth. I even felt some in my armpit and in between my buttcrack. The acne infestation resulted in a 102 fever and body aches. Every movement felt painful; even my usual magical power was useless. While the burning sensation spread from my chest to my head, my parents thought it would be fun to inject cherry syrup, called “medicine” in my mouth EVERY FEW HOURS.

Oh, my mouth, my poor mouth.

Do you know what’s worse than having two pimples in the back of your mouth that you can’t reach? – Staring at a warm bottle of milk but unable to drink it because the excruciating pain from suckling outweighs hunger. Even my favorite pacifier was useless during this week-long event while my mouth hosted the Acne Party.

Can you imagine how much screaming was involved when I was hungry, sleepy, and in pain – all day?

Luckily, after a week, the Acne Party finally packed its bags to find a new victim, leaving behind a trail of tears and scars. If this is early puberty, I can’t even imagine what teenage puberty will be like.

Can I always be a baby?

catwalk in the airplane

My Exclusive Catwalk on the Plane

Daycare is my second home, and the airport is my third since we traveled almost every month. Although my first flight was very stressful, traveling is now dull. I mean, after my 30-hour flight to China at 2-months-old, all the other flights this year are just trivial (ex: Denver, Nebraska, New York, various cities in Texas).

Now at 8-months-old and finally able to waddle, I just put on my butterfly leash and let Mommy chase me as I roam around the airport, looking for my buddies.

First, we say “hi” to the nice lady at the counter that gives us the tickets when we check our bags. Then I look for my favorite escalator and ride it a few times. We would wave goodbye to the enormous white spacesuit before getting in the short security line. The security guys at the beeping monitors always smile at us when we flash our IDs. Just a pro-tip – don’t get on the long security line. It is endless. Every time we go on a trip, there are always people on that line. Finally, we would wait in the big auditorium before boarding the plane.

The plane, my friend, is where I shine.

With the rows of seats on both sides decorated with luggage compartments looming overhead, a natural stage emerges. After we take off, my exit strategy from Daddy’s lap is to squirm and wriggle so much that he gives in. Mommy then puts on my favorite shoe, and I practice my smiles before our catwalk down the aisle.

I would patiently stand in the aisle until the passengers sitting in the nearest row stop what they are doing to look at me. After studying each person individually, I would graciously present a slight wave and a bright smile. Then move on to greet the next row of passengers, leaving behind a synonymous “aww.” By the time I reach the end (or beginning) of the plane, I would make my way up again to give them another dose of adrenaline.

People always say, “it’s not the destination that matters; it’s the experience and people you are with.”

I try to make these passengers’ trips as meaningful as possible by entertaining them multiple times on every flight. Be assured that if you are traveling on my plane, the catwalk comes as part of the package with no additional fee, just like the flight attendants. Although the travelers always vary (or perhaps I saw that purple hair dude with a red dress before), you would not believe how many people choose to ride my plane just to see me. I hope these catwalks pay for the airplane tickets.

I Want A Vibrating Cat Costume

I Want A Vibrating Cat Costume

I need a fur coat costume just like the baby that visits us every morning. He gets to be outside ALL THE TIME; the outfit gives him superpowers that repel mosquitoes and the Texas heat, the two reasons why Mommy and I are always stuck indoors. We call him “Meow-Meow,” which is his favorite phrase.

I like his entire costume – from his perky ears to his soft padded paws and cute twitching whiskers to his long, curly grey tail.

I tried to snatch his tail once since I don’t have any, but he did not like that. He jumped away and stared at me from the edge of the patio with his yellow beady eyes. Apparently, he doesn’t like to share.

Meow-Meow is always hungry when he drops by. Still learning to hold a cup at 8-month-old, it was challenging to scoop his crunchy cereal from the box, but I managed to do it every day, just for him. It just takes me a while to get his plate ready.

And, man, is he impatient. He would claw at the window until his favorite cereal is prepared.

Although, he needs his taste buds checked out. The cereal may look colorful but tastes like overcooked, sandy cardboard mixed with thousand-year-old fish – not to be confused with thousand-year-old egg because that’s delicious.

It is fascinating watching Meow-Meow eat off the plate on the floor a foot away from us – so close, yet so far. He would hunch down on all fours with his neck extended, head dipped low, and lick his cereal, all the while carefully analyzing Mommy and me from the corner of his eyes.

Did he think I was going to snatch his whiskers? … Guilty as charged.

Lucky for him, he has a lot of teeth, unlike me. His teeth would chomp wildly at the cereal, crushing them into pieces with small bits escaping from his lips. I am still perplexed at his ability to swallow the dry cereal without milk. However, the most captivating part of this whole process is when he starts enjoying the meal, and a series of purrs vibrate from his belly. An orchestra of licks, purrs, and crunches then fills the air, paired with his occasional gasp for breath and dips in his water bowl. Both Mommy and I are mesmerized by his mini “thank you” concert. Yet, I wonder – where does he hide the purring generator? This is indeed the most awesome costume!

The Rolling R Gene

“Rrrrrr,” I growled in disapproval.
“She’s only 8-months-old. Did she just rolled an R?” Mommy asked, turning to Daddy in disbelief.
“I think she’s cursing at us in baby language,” Daddy replied. He had a big smile on his face as he rolled his R back at me, “Rrrrrrr.”
I looked at him, surprised. How dare you say I’m not pretty!? “Rrrrr, Werc#@423 Rrrrr xweDSFRWerrrrrrrr,” I exclaimed back.
Mommy attempted to roll an R but only end up just spitting at me. “Not fair! I can’t do it!” she sputtered sadly.
Daddy and I rolled R’s back and forth a few times until I finally giggled. What was I mad about again?

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