Category: 02 Years Old

Attack of the Naughty Crocodile

On November 11, 2022

“Wroar!” The booming roar escaped my lungs as I held my baby crocodile. I am the most powerful two-year-old!

“Are you excited to see crocodiles at the park today?” Mommy asks, peering at me in the rearview mirror.

“Yes!” I eagerly reply as the crocodile swims in the air.

After a long time, we finally arrived at the crocodile park. I quickly scan the perimeter; there is a giant crocodile painting on the wall but no real crocodiles.

Please don’t tell me this is it, as tears form in my eyes.

“Please come to the waiting area for your crocodile tour,” someone bellows in the overhead speakers. The tears disappeared as quickly as they came. Mommy holds my hand as we walk towards the door, passing a litter of pigs.

Kids are standing on a deck, looking through a fence. My head turns towards their gaze. There is a small lake to the left of the swamp; two giant crocodiles are waiting in the shallow water. The tour guide walks towards the lake with a stick clamping onto a piece of raw chicken.

“Honey, come over,” he shouts.

He waves the stick above the massive crocodiles’ heads. One of them jumps onto shore, its short, strong legs digging into the ground while it arches its upper body up, mouth wide open, reaching for the chicken. That one must be Honey.

“Come here, girl,” the tour guide says calmly, luring Honey closer to the fence where I was standing. The crocodile snaps at the tour guide’s legs. Luckily, he jumps back just in time. “No chicken for you,” the tour guide puts the chicken into a bucket and pokes the empty stick on the crocodile’s back, pushing it into the water.

Out of nowhere, I hear a big splash behind me and then a bellowing hiss.

I turn around and found another crocodile against the fence, trying to reach the deck.

“Down!” I screamed while the other kids hid behind me. My fingers point to the ground.

“Get down!” I confidently shout—the crocodile retreat into the water, its beady eyes peering slightly above the surface.

“Down!” I stomp my feet while the crocodile continues to glare at me. No chicken for you if you don’t behave.

“Good job, Izzy,” Mommy says proudly. “You are so brave!”

See! I AM the most powerful! As we enjoy the rest of the tour, I search the perimeter for more naughty crocodiles.

NOTE: After the 1.5-hour tour, we sat by the resting area as they passed around baby crocodiles, lizards, and snakes. Izzy was screaming in terror and refused to touch them. I guess she can only handle adult crocodiles!

Covid-19 and His Baby Sister “Vaccine”

By Izzy Tornado

On March 24, 2021

In 02 Years Old, Izzy's Stories

There is a new kid on the block called “Covid-19”; he is from the Pandemic family. He is so famous that everyone, even the news lady from Sunday Morning, talks about him – she said some of the bars and restaurants had to close down due to Covid-19.

Can you imagine how much one would have to eat to close an entire restaurant!?

My 2-years-old belly gets full from just eating a tiny cup of mac and cheese.

Mommy also said we couldn’t go to the park anymore because of the Pandemic as well. This family is so wealthy, they bought our neighborhood parks and didn’t want to share! What used to be daily evening walks to the park became just running in circles on the lawn. Occasionally, Mommy and I would go park hopping, where we drive around town trying to find an empty park to play in.

However, I admire Covid-19’s passion for education.

He loves school so much that he bought all of them as well. As a result, the other students have to take virtual classes at home. Come to think of it; maybe Covid-19 stinks!? Perhaps he is embarrassed about his body odor and bought the schools to prevent other kids from knowing this secret. And he somehow convinced the governor to mandate masks covering our noses and mouths when we leave our home.

Poor kid. He has so much power, yet he doesn’t have any friends.

Luckily, the news lady said there would be a “Vaccine” for Covid-19 soon. Such a beautiful name – baby Vaccine will be joining the Pandemic family! I hope Vaccine and I can be best friends one day. If the body odor is a genetic issue, I can just wear my blue mask, an accessory that Daddy says makes me look like a “Little Hannibal,” whatever that means.

The Tricky Parents Turned Off the Lights

By Izzy Tornado

On March 6, 2021

In 02 Years Old, Izzy's Stories

Introduction: In mid-February 2021, Texas got hit with the coldest winter in 30 years, dropping the temperature from 60F to 0F, leaving 2.8 million people in Texas without power, heat, or water. Below is a story of 2-year-old Izzy’s experience.

“It was 60 degrees this morning! How did it drop to 15 already!?” exclaims Mommy as she pulls another sweater over me.

“We need to conserve gas. We can run the generator for another 30 minutes. Let’s quickly eat,” said Daddy.

We gather around the table, our feet welcoming the space heater’s warm breath.

Mommy points at the flames igniting from the portable gas burner on the dining room table and sternly said, “Hot. No Touch.” She then starts shoveling noodle soup in my mouth as fast as I could swallow. What is the rush!?

Daddy handed Mommy a flashlight and said, “I’m turning off the generator. Let’s gather your stuff and head to the bedroom. Remember, keep the door closed to keep warm.”

“Ion King?…mote mote” I point at the remote, my usual reward for finishing my plate.

“I’m sorry, Izzy, there’s no electricity right now; we can’t watch TV today.”

I look at her, astonish. I am two years old, not dumb.

The lights are on; there is electricity. Before I could protest, a snap echo in the room. Then darkness swallows the living room whole. Suddenly, I can hear the wind crawling through the gaps, whispering in the silence.

I grab Mommy’s legs, yelling, “cared cared!”

“It’s okay, Izzy. Don’t be scare. Mommy is here.” Mommy picks up baby Dora on the swing. Together, we walk carefully down the hallway illuminated by her flashlight.

We turn into the master bathroom. “Izzy, after we brush our teeth, you get to blow out the candles,” she points at the flickering white block on the table.

Ooo, I love blowing out candles.

But first, brush teeth – ugh, flossing is so much more fun (link).

After swallowing the last of the toothpaste in my mouth, I hum “happy birthday to me” and take one final glance at our shadows dancing along the walls. “Pffftt!” The flames dissipate. Nice, all the practice had paid off, blew it out in one shot.

Luckily the flashlight is still on. “Okay, time for bed,” said Mommy as she nurses the baby.

Then it dawns on me. Did she turn off the electricity and heat just to make me go to bed early!? Tricky Tricky. I will not allow it. It is 2 hours before my usual bedtime.

I cannot let them win; else, I will lose precious playtime after dinner forever.

“No!” I yell. Sitting on the floor, I put together the zebra puzzle for the eighth time today.

When I finish the puzzle, I glance over at the parents on the bed, their eyes drooping in the dim light. My gaze moves to the baby in the crib, already asleep – successfully tricked.

I yawn. Oh no! I can’t sleep yet.

I rub my eyes. The dark is overpowering me.

One can only play the same puzzle so many times.

Crawling over Daddy’s limp body, I collapse in between the parents on my pillow. Even after wearing four layers, it feels like it is getting colder with every passing minute.

Just tonight. I will let them win just tonight. I snuggle closer against Mommy’s back, stealing her warmth. In the end, all that matters is that we are together. All of us, in the same room – Daddy, Mommy, Dora, and I.

Note to the Reader:

Having been without hot water, electricity, heat, and hot food at below zero temperatures for 51 hours made me realize a lifestyle change is needed. Climate change is real. Living in the USA, we are spoiled with these cheap essentials leading to overconsumption of our natural resources. This experience was scary, but it was only for two days while our future generations may suffer for the rest of their lives. Studies have predicted we will have limited clear water and clean air by 2050.

I implore you to learn more about climate change and about how we can reverse the impacts as an individual and a civilization. Some actions I will be taking are:

Taking a shorter shower to use less water
Installing solar panels or LED lights to use less energy and lower the electricity bill
Eating less meat (methane gas from animals is ~10% of the greenhouse gas emissions)
Buying used instead of new products (save more money along the way)
Donating/volunteering in reforestation efforts

Thank you for reading about this important topic.

My Teeth Brushing Partner – Mr. Dino T-Rex

By Izzy Tornado

On December 19, 2020

In 02 Years Old, Izzy's Stories

I always wondered, we take baths and wash every part of our body, but… why stop at only brushing our teeth? I mean, what about the tongue, back of the throat, and in the ears? Those are pretty essential body parts, and

it is my duty as a two-year-old to teach my parents how to clean correctly.

Mr. Dino T-Rex agreed to help me and proved to be a great brushing partner. Every night, he waits for me at the brushing station with his toothbrush leaning on his short little arms. I made sure Mommy watched as I pushed a button, and he opened his mouth wide open. I brushed the back of his throat, the tongue, the top row of teeth, then the bottom, and finally his chin.

Sometimes he likes to have his toes cleaned too.

All clean! I gave Mommy a wide grin. Now, mommy’s turn as I start grabbing for her toothbrush.

Beware of Pacifier Burglars

By Izzy Tornado

On October 31, 2020

In 02 Years Old, Izzy's Stories

Having never been dependent on fake boobs as a newborn, I always pushed the pacifier out with my tongue – it was just not natural, you know? It doesn’t taste exceptionally good (nor bad), it doesn’t have milk – it doesn’t do anything! What’s the point? However, after a few weeks, I realized having something to suck on was not bad after all, and I became fond of it.

Sometimes, I even close my eyes, imagining guzzling down an unlimited stream of milk.

Fast forward two years later. The day started as usual – I showed the parents how to pull the pillows and covers off the bed when they woke up, but they are so stubborn! They kept picking them back up.

I jumped on the bed as usual, but this time, I tripped over a pillow and hit the footboard – headfirst.

Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I screamed in pain. Blood flooded my mouth while Daddy inspected my chin, lips, and mouth. He mumbled about pacifiers and a loose front tooth, and then Mommy scurried away.

Oh, the horrors I had to bear that day.

Every sip of water sent shockwaves up my head. Even eating my favorite bowl of soft mac and cheese was painful. As if that wasn’t bad enough, all the pacifiers disappeared; it was as if they grew legs and fled the crime scene. I couldn’t find them in the kitchen cabinets and dishwasher, not even the secret stash underneath the crib.

They didn’t even let me suck goodbye.

All I did was jump on the bed – why did they take off? Have I not been punished enough already?

These heartless parents – they didn’t even try to help me look for them during bedtime. After three hours of outcry, they finally turned on one of my favorite cartoons at 1 AM to distract me – it worked. I was halfway through the second episode when I fell asleep snuggling in between the parents.

It took four days to accept my fate that I will never get to see my beloved pacifiers again.

I hope that they are having a good time, wherever they have gone.

A few days later, I overheard Daddy telling his friends about “taking away the pacifier cold turkey.” Did a cold turkey steal my pacifiers? Talk about the worst day of my life.