Tag: mommy blogger Page 8 of 10

Fresh Milk Extraction

On December 5, 2020

In 03 Months Old, Izzy's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

There is something about warm fresh milk from the bosom that makes all the worries of a 3-month-old go away. Like, what am I supposed to do with all the colors when I was used to only seeing shades of black and white? Or the giant monster constantly circling above me called a “fan”? This is a scary world. Even when I screamed at the top of my lungs to put me back into the womb, no one listens. So my only relaxing mechanism is getting fed – every 2 hours. Shout out to “Breast is Best”.

Just the smell of my mother (or her breast milk) makes me drool – no wonder why they called it liquid gold.

But it is a lot of effort to extract my meal. Do you know how hard it is to learn to lick, latch, and suck a milk guzzler at just a few minutes old? I had to use my small little mouth to hang on to that stub.

Then extract milk midair in an awkward position for another 15-30 minutes.

Sometimes when I do latch properly, my little nostril will be clogged by the breast the size of my head. Luckily, a hand always magically appears to press against it so I can breathe easier. Finally, after a few weeks of struggling, I opted for the bottle. Mother expresses it, and the extra gets stored away to age like fine wine. Work smart, not hard – you know what I mean?

Of course, nothing is free in this world; we have an unspoken quid pro quo.

As long as Mother provides a warm meal, I will reward her with my most precious creation, usually once a day. She is always thrilled when I gift her a fresh nugget and kisses me after putting a checkmark on her list.

Is she counting how many nuggets I’m giving her to make sure it’s a fair exchange?

I never got a chance to ask as I get ready to clock out with my full belly. I curled my lips up in satisfaction, falling fast asleep to the thought of my next meal.

Migrating for a Turkey

By Izzy Tornado

On November 28, 2020

In 05 Months Old, Izzy's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

Thanksgiving is good food with extra steps. I mean, why else would we travel 8 hours to Denver for a turkey!? Perhaps it tastes better up north in the bitter cold, where their thick coats of feathers keep them warm as they dance around in the snow.

But for me, the chilly wind feels like daggers piercing into my bald 5-month-old head.

After multiple attempts at consuming fistfuls of Mommy’s hair to stimulate hair growth, I finally gave up as the hair is pretty tough to swallow. I’ll just hibernate after the big meal.

Turkey, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, fresh rolls of bread, and dessert – these delicious creations crowded the serving station. We sat around the table respectfully giving thanks; I’m most thankful that they didn’t make me cook. I would’ve burnt them by accident. I eagerly waited for my plate as they passed the dishes around.

To my surprise, they only gave me a bowl of oatmeal with peas!

I did not travel so far just to have oatmeal! Give me a break–or break me a turkey leg! After much protest, my hunger overpowered my will. I gulped down the oatmeal while the rest of the family chow down their plateful of goodness.

Out of pity, Daddy snuck me a lick of the cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes.

Next time, I’ll have to do a better job of negotiating for the turkey before we travel to determine if it’s really worth it. Doesn’t it just taste like chicken?

Beware of Pacifier Burglars

By Izzy Tornado

On October 31, 2020

In 02 Years Old, Izzy's Stories

Having never been dependent on fake boobs as a newborn, I always pushed the pacifier out with my tongue – it was just not natural, you know? It doesn’t taste exceptionally good (nor bad), it doesn’t have milk – it doesn’t do anything! What’s the point? However, after a few weeks, I realized having something to suck on was not bad after all, and I became fond of it.

Sometimes, I even close my eyes, imagining guzzling down an unlimited stream of milk.

Fast forward two years later. The day started as usual – I showed the parents how to pull the pillows and covers off the bed when they woke up, but they are so stubborn! They kept picking them back up.

I jumped on the bed as usual, but this time, I tripped over a pillow and hit the footboard – headfirst.

Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I screamed in pain. Blood flooded my mouth while Daddy inspected my chin, lips, and mouth. He mumbled about pacifiers and a loose front tooth, and then Mommy scurried away.

Oh, the horrors I had to bear that day.

Every sip of water sent shockwaves up my head. Even eating my favorite bowl of soft mac and cheese was painful. As if that wasn’t bad enough, all the pacifiers disappeared; it was as if they grew legs and fled the crime scene. I couldn’t find them in the kitchen cabinets and dishwasher, not even the secret stash underneath the crib.

They didn’t even let me suck goodbye.

All I did was jump on the bed – why did they take off? Have I not been punished enough already?

These heartless parents – they didn’t even try to help me look for them during bedtime. After three hours of outcry, they finally turned on one of my favorite cartoons at 1 AM to distract me – it worked. I was halfway through the second episode when I fell asleep snuggling in between the parents.

It took four days to accept my fate that I will never get to see my beloved pacifiers again.

I hope that they are having a good time, wherever they have gone.

A few days later, I overheard Daddy telling his friends about “taking away the pacifier cold turkey.” Did a cold turkey steal my pacifiers? Talk about the worst day of my life.

Judy the Possessed Doll

By Mommy Tornado

On October 24, 2020

In 09 Months Old, Mommy's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

Izzy was crying in the middle of the night – I know, that sounds normal for a 9-month-old. But it was an “I’m scared” type of cry. I ran into her room. Her high pitch whimpers couldn’t be soothed with her favorite blanket, milk, or pacifier. What is wrong? …

It must be – the new doll that she got is possessed!

I was afraid of dolls growing up, so I never got Izzy one. Since we found that lashes help her sleep [read post here], I wanted to give Izzy a toy with lashes, blinking eyes, and long soft hair – the only toy I could think of is a doll. It would be an opportunity to eliminate the fear once and for all, as I comforted myself. Surprisingly, it took me a while to find the right one because dolls these days don’t have the lashes and rolling eyes anymore (which allows them to blink). Maybe there’s a reason – they’re evil! Finally, I found a harmless looking doll at Walmart that had the lashes but no hair – good enough.

I just bought this doll yesterday; she is still in the living room. Izzy was attracted to her immediately because the eyelids “blink” when she plays with the lashes – we named the doll Judy. It must have sneaked into the room, wanting revenge because Izzy was stabbing her eyes. Perhaps it ran away when Izzy woke up. I immediately closed the bedroom door and snuggled closely under the covers of the guest bed with Izzy. I want to face my fears; I should go out and prove that this is all my imagination. Scenarios raced through my mind – what if Judy is waiting for me?

She can be standing outside the door, back towards me, and then slowly turn her head 180 degrees with her innocent smile.

Or she can be down the dark hallway, in the shadows holding a sharp object, then she’ll sprint full speed in attack mode.

Izzy finally stopped crying and started dozing off in my arms. Other than the ocean wave noise coming out of our sound machine, it is pretty quiet. Wait, did I just hear a creak? Our new floorboards creak with every step. I started sweating; she is coming for us. Usually, when I needed help, I’ll call for DT sleeping in the other room, but I was afraid that Judy would harm him instead, so I kept quiet this time.

I wonder if she can talk, I can almost hear the hysterical laughter echoing through the walls. I looked towards the door, envisioning that it’ll slowly start opening. The small night light in the room casts a shadow over the furniture.

My eyes strained in the dark to see if there are any movements, perhaps she’s in here already.

After about an hour (or two?), I dozed off, thinking I should’ve gotten a stuffed toy and crazy glued the lashes on it instead.

The first thing in the morning was to return the doll to Walmart. That evening, I was on the lookout to make sure Judy didn’t find her way back – luckily she didn’t. After scouring the internet for hours, I found a stuffed cow with lashes, on Amazon – no reviews, and it was $30, but it looks harmless – let’s give it a shot.

Hot Potato had a Fever

By Izzy Tornado

On October 17, 2020

In 03 Months Old, Izzy's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

It is 4 AM, and I stink. Mommy passed me to daddy as she ran away, coughing into her elbow. “Paci!” he screamed. Yes! I want that, maybe that’ll help with the burning sensation all over my body. Mommy ran back and tried to stuff the paci into his mouth. No! Wrong person! I wailed louder. As daddy put the paci in my mouth, the parents looked at each other and laughed deliriously from the lack of sleep, their voices echoed down the hallway and back.

“Hot potato coming through!” daddy said as he passed me back to mommy and ran away for his coughing break.

Guys! Stop fighting for a chance to hold me; now is not the time to demonstrate your love. My body feels like it is on fire, my head is aching – stop moving me around!

“Time for another dose,” says daddy as he came back with a syringe. The sticky cherry syrup drizzled down my chin. He then gave me a bottle of milk, the warm liquid smoothly flowed down my throat. Waking up every hour (instead of every 2 hours like usual) with a high fever is making me hungry.

After I finished my meal, the fluid uncontrollably started bubbling in my tummy, like a volcano about to erupt.

It burnt my esophagus on its way up, and I sputtered the mix of cherry-flavored milk acid over my shirt, floor, and the parents. Ugh. Not again! It had been hard for my 3-month old body to keep anything down these days. Whatever you do, mommy, don’t bathe me nor change my clothes – I am well aware that I stink.

At this point, just let me swim in sour milk curds; I am too tired.

As if she could read my mind, I felt a wet towel wiping my face, chin, ears, and body – the cooling sensation felt good on my burning skin. I caught a glimpse of mommy – her eyes barely opened, the deep dark circles and the wrinkles under her eyelids made her look older – what happened to her? I drift to sleep, thinking about mold growing on the sour milk by tomorrow morning.