Short stories with a comical twist on the daily obstacles, aka adventures, of parenthood

Category: 10 Months Old

Flossing is More Fun

Ever since 10-months-old, the Parents misused my uncontrollable laughter when being tickled to brush my teeth. With my mouth wide open, Mommy would sneak in and scrub my mere six teeth so hard that she might as well sand wood.

Why do they make such a big deal about brushing teeth anyway? I’m a baby! Can’t we afford to buy a new set of teeth?

So let them rot. Let me floss instead!

Finally, we made a deal – I will brush my teeth if I can floss afterwards.

I can still remember my first successful flossing attempt.

As usual, I ran to the brushing station and pointed at the three glistening toothbrushes on the counter, shouting, “Mama, Dada, Me!” As if they have woken from a spell, they floated towards my command with Mommy’s help.

After gnawing at my toothbrush, I carefully picked up a floss pick and watched Mommy closely as she puts one in her mouth, all the while looking at the mirror.

I took a deep breath and attempted to do the same.

Nope, the floss is lying flat; it needed to be upright.

Nope, I missed my mouth entirely.

Argh! Why did she make it look so easy?

Unlike the previous nights, I refused to give up.

Nope, too far to the right. What is wrong with my clumsy fingers? How is it that when I moved my hand one way but the hand in the mirror moves the other, aren’t they supposed to like… mirror?

Pluck.

The sound vibrated in my mouth. Ahha! The floss pick string is in between my teeth. It may have taken a total of 248 attempts during my short lifetime, but I finally got it!

“Good job, Izzy. Look, Daddy. She’s flossing!”

I proudly smiled at the latest accessory in my mouth, the green pick dangling over my lips as if, it too, is having a victory dance.

Nose Excavation

“Thank you for letting me pick your nose.” After saying that to 10-month-old Izzy, I realized that self-image and etiquette are no longer a priority. What if my husband, my coworkers, or my friends heard it?! I am kneeling on the floor in PJs in the middle of the day with a flashlight on one hand and a dirty tissue on another, looking up my daughter’s nose as she sat on the couch.

That sticky booger had been peeking out and tempting me all morning. Izzy was still enough to let me pick at it with my thick fingers. After multiple attempts, I ran to the bathroom for the boogie-tweezer (yes, those exist, it’s a plastic tweezer with round tips. “Why not use a Nose Frida?” you ask. It is not as effective…).

While digging in the dark caves of her nose, I hoped that Izzy wouldn’t get fed up with all the mining expeditions.

When the tweezers finally got a hold of that gooey mucus, the booger was clinging on to dear life, until eventually, with a yank, it snapped and out it came. “Does that feel better?” I asked Izzy – probably more a question for myself. It was a successful day.

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