An ear-piercing voice wakes me up, crackling over the world – the voice echoed far and wide like a divine being finally coming to rescue me from this confusing planet. He calls himself “the captain.” He didn’t do much except muttering about the weather and ending his presence with “thank you for flying with us.” Flying? What’s that?
Am I still stuck in this dream?
Big compartments outline the ceiling, and an endless line of strangers walk past me. I’m lying on what looks like a very long bed with pillows and blankets on each side. As a 2-month-old, my limited mobility only allowed me to turn my head slightly. A sense of relief trickled through my body when I caught a glimpse of my orange lion and Mr. Sheep. Oh, how nice it is to see you guys finally! You would not believe what happened to me earlier!
The euphoria left as quickly as it came – Where’s Mommy!?
I wail in desperation. Before I could catch my breath for another cry, Mommy swoops me up in her arms. With her usual smile, she whispers, “good morning, Izzy.” Stretching my neck past her shoulders, I see an infinite row of heads bobbing up and down as if tempting me to play Whac-A-Mole.
The “captain” reappears out of nowhere, saying to buckle up for “take off.” Take off what? Shoes? Diapers?
Speaking of diapers, I have been clenching my butt cheeks due to the ongoing stress.
As I let go, a ripple escape, and Mommy giggles. She quickly sits down and gives me my ultimate calming mechanism – the pacifier. Squish squish squish. As I suck the plastic boob, the entire world starts vibrating. It feels like we are in a car – a huge car. We are moving, and the speed is pushing us back. Mommy holds onto me a little closer. I feel my body lift – hmm, I know the pacifier usually makes me feel relax, but not like this. I suck a little harder and faster with every passing second. All the while, Mommy is pushing at my ear lobes, murmuring, “keep sucking, or else your ears will hurt.” Let me tell you that is NOT comforting. Gravity finally pulled it together after a few minutes; we are back to normal – no more rumbles, bumps, soars, and heart palpitations.
Mommy collects a couple of items from a compartment nearby – baby wipes, diaper, a changing pad, and some cream.
At least some things don’t change as I graciously accept the pampering of a diaper change.
Then she ties a blanket over her shoulders, Ooo! I know what that means. I didn’t realize it, but I was hungry. I’m still waiting for an explanation of the series of chaotic events, but food first. However, after my meal, the drowsiness hit me again. Okay fine. Sleep first.
This dream has got to stop.
Every time I wake up, I am stuck in this small, confined space with strangers, and I wake up quite often – every 2 hours. The routine is always the same – diaper change, belly time, and finally, a meal that puts me back to sleep. It is reassuring that my lion and Mr. Sheep are my soldiers protecting me the entire time; I will have to reward their loyalty when we get home. A couple of times, I played with the inhabitants of this confinement. They would walk by offering to let Mommy use the restroom or eat her food. They must be bored, so I entertained them for a few minutes.
However, I was cautious.
I watch them like an eagle securing its prey, making sure they don’t get close to my bottle – especially after the previous incident. I hope they don’t replace Daddy indefinitely, as he usually helped Mommy out. Sometimes just the thought of him abandoning us made me cry uncontrollably; I must have done something terrible. I promise (or try to) not to toot in his face anymore! Please come back. At this time, the strangers will start panicking, looking for Mommy, dropping me off like a sack of potato.
After what seemed like an eternity, I learned that we were on a plane (then ferry, bus, and taxi) to China.
It took 30 hours. For me, that’s a massive chunk of my life.
My Grandma and my Daddy switched positions – now I see my Grandma in real life and my Daddy in pictures or videos. After another “eternity,” they switched again – now Daddy in real life (at least he didn’t abandon me, and I’ll try to keep my promise!). They have GOT to stop messing with me. Why can’t they just appear both in real life instead of making me go through 60 hours of intense travel? Sheesh, adults, do I need to solve everything for them?