Tag: izzy tornado Page 2 of 10

My Public Bathroom Fetish

On October 2, 2021

Okay, I admit it. I am attracted to bathrooms. Specifically pubic bathrooms. This newfound fetish started with the 7-day road trip when it dawned on me that I could no longer fake it anymore. Since 18-months-old when Mommy started potty training me, I always knew the concept of bathrooms and doing my business in toilets.

But knowing did not mean I had to DO IT.

Fast forward 18 months later (now three years old), I am successfully still in diapers. But no way am I going to sit in a wet diaper on the car ride. I can’t even stand a drop of water on my shirt.

After four hours in my car seat, I was ready for the first bathroom stop and announced, “Potty!”. It was exhilarating watching Mommy fumbling on the map looking for the next exit while Daddy screaming, “HOLD IT!” Once we arrived at the gas station, Mommy and I bolted to the restroom.

Although it started as a necessity, it grew into an obsession.

I take every opportunity to check out the public toilets at the parks, restaurants, and gas stations. Even when I didn’t need to go. Of course, the parents never rejected me either. The word “potty” has some sort of magic to it that catches their attention and makes them drop whatever they’re doing to oblige to my command.

I just don’t know what it is about public bathrooms that are so attractive.

Perhaps I like the guessing game when Mommy points at the different placards on the doors, Men or Women. Or because Mommy always proudly cheered me on when I made a big dump; some things just never change. Or perhaps I enjoy the various bathroom designs across the nation, making mental notes to incorporate in my future lavatory. It would be very nice to have a bathroom with built-in sensors for the toilet, soap dispenser, door, sink, lights, and a full-body blow dryer – who needs towels anyways?

One thing I do know for sure – I never want to go into a men’s bathroom again, especially at gas stations where cleanliness is nonexistent.

I did so well refusing to pee, poop or toot in the diaper during the entire road trip that Mommy decided to hide my diapers when we finally arrived at my grandparents’ home. But it didn’t last long because I regressed to my old ways. Why should I stop eating or playing with my toys when I can just “let it go”? You know, following Frozen’s instructions.

The Ride of My Life on a Spaceship

By Hurricane Dora

On October 2, 2021

In 07 Months Old, Dora's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

While my sister traveled on airplanes most of her life, I got to travel in a private spaceship at 7-months-old to see my grandparents, big thanks to the Pandemic kid.

Daddy cheerfully said, “Welcome abroad to the spaceship. This is Captain Daddy. It is 4:33AM, the current temperature is 89F with 100 humidity. Please expect a delay as the flight attendant makes her final rounds.”

The dim lights overhead allow me to see everyone’s seating arrangements, Mommy to the right, Daddy in front, and Izzy behind me.

The luggage compartment of the spaceship is so full that the three remaining seats around me are pack to the rim.

I watch Mommy intently as she starts rummaging the six small totes nested on the floor filled with baby bottles, snacks, and toys. After a few minutes, she finally zips everything up.

Daddy’s voice echoes from the front of the car, “The captain has turned on the seatbelt light. Please remain in your seat and keep your seatbelt fastened”. Mommy checks my car seat straps and tightens them some more.

As Mommy checks Izzy’s seat belts in the back, Izzy whispers, “Where are we going?”

Mommy reply, “We are going on a road trip to see grandma and grandpa.”

Daddy made his last announcement, “we are ready for takeoff. Please sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. The lights will dimly shortly.” A few moments later, it got dark with only the street lights peeking through the windows.

The spaceship starts vibrating, moving backward slowly.

It stops and then quickly zooms forward. Mommy places something soft in my hands. I recognize the texture; it is Mrs. Elephant, my sleeping buddy. She then sets a bottle in my hands which floods my mouth with sweet, warm milk. Ahh. Now, that’s the stuff. I am not usually hungry at this hour, but I will welcome free food any day. I cling onto the bottle, chugging until I can’t drink another drop, and drifts off into a deep sleep, dreaming of hyperspace.

Poopie Series: Where Are My Marbles?

By Izzy Tornado

On October 2, 2021

In 03 Years Old, Izzy's Stories

Ugh, my tummy hurts. But I am almost done with the puzzle!

I place the piece with Peppa’s head in the empty spot, completing the set. As a 3-year-old, this was an easy puzzle.

Where’s Mommy?

I start taking steps towards the couch. With every movement, my stomach pain subsides. Plop. Plop. Plop.

Mommy’s pounding footsteps echo from the hallway; she is heading to the living room.

I hope this won’t be as bad as the time I put my Little People figure on the toy potty, but I ended up unconsciously peeing on the playmat. I look down and cringe. Mommy appears in front of me while I pick up the nearest toy.

She stops in her tracks, a confused look on her face. Pointing to the floor, she asks, “Izzy, where did you find chocolate?”

Phew, she thinks it’s chocolate.

I watch closely as her eyes widen in disbelief. She glances at me, then back at the brown Hansel and Gretel pebble trail on the floor. This is bad.

She lets out a loud yelp and uses paper towels to pick up three round feces off the floor. I guess they do look like chocolate truffles.

Mommy grabs me and runs to the bathroom, yelling, “Help!” Who is she calling to? Isn’t Daddy at the grocery store again?

She quickly pulls my shirt off, carefully checking for residue before throwing it in the laundry. Should I warn her?

Then she swiftly pulls my panties down. Too late.

Feces the size of marbles scatter the floor, rolling across the bathroom like they were trying to run away.

Wow, I did poop a lot this time. Potty training is a challenging exercise for Mommy, although I did give her a 7-day break.

“Izzy, don’t move.” Mommy scolds as she picks up the hundreds of pebbles with toilet paper. “I am disappointed in you.”

“I’m d-pointed too,” I mumble the new word.

With a sigh, she hugs me tightly, “Don’t do it again, okay?” she says in a tired voice.

“Okay,” I reply with a big smile when she turns on the shower for my second bath today.

Stop Stealing My Milk

By Izzy Tornado

On August 23, 2021

In 05 Months Old, Izzy's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

I crawl towards the kitchen on all fours. As a 5-month-old, I am not strong enough to walk yet. “Wahh,” a whimper escapes my mouth. I’m hungry. Where’s Mommy? She just left me in the bedroom.

I turn the corner into the kitchen. Mommy is already holding a baby bottle in one hand against her chest and a formula scoop in the other. “I’ll be there soon!” she shouts as if I was far away.
Yay, it will be meal time soon! I wonder how much she will give me this time.
She dips the scoop in the purple container on the table and lifts it back up, full to the brim with formula.

Drool escapes my mouth as I look up from the floor at the kitchen entrance.

Mommy slowly moves the scoop higher, from waist height towards her chest where the bottle opening is. She raises the scoop higher, past the bottle. Why is she doing that? Her mouth opens wide. She plops the contents in her mouth!
She smacks her lips and starts humming.
“Wahh!” I exclaim. How could she!?
Mommy turns towards me, startle. She chuckles and said, “Thanks for sharing your formula, Izzy. Milk is almost ready.”
She proceeds to prepare my milk, dumping three scoops of powder in the baby bottle.
Crying uncontrollably, I cannot forgive her. She shoves the warm bottle of milk in my mouth. My milk is never safe. How do I stop people from stealing my milk!

Team Evolution Brainstorming the Fate of Human Pregnancy

By Mommy Tornado

On August 23, 2021

In 00 Newborn, Mommy's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

After the 3rd attempt, the doctors gave up. They don’t know why the epidural solution wasn’t working for me this time. As I went into labor with my second child, I imagined Team Evolution sitting around the table brainstorming the fate of human pregnancy.

Mr. Evolution: Thank you for coming at such short notice. There is a need for humans to reproduce. We must find the most expensive yet rewarding method as the only way that humans appreciate anything is through hard work. (Pause, sternly looks around the room). If they want a baby, they have to sacrifice health and time. The only decision we have made so far is that humans need to produce sexually and the baby can range from 5-15lbs residing in the belly. So throw in your ideas. Who wants to go first?

[Lots of chatter in the room]

Grandpa Time: Hamster pregnancies are four weeks, but elephants are 95 weeks. …. Perhaps human pregnancies can be about 40 weeks?

Mrs. Nature: That is fair. How much weight do you want them to gain?

Human Engineer (clears his throat): Let’s make them gain a tremendous amount of weight.

Grandma Reason: Just 25 to 35 lb. Anything more, the baby will be unhealthy.

Human Engineer (excitedly said): What about making them either crave a lot of food and get acid reflux or have morning sickness, where they throw up whatever they eat?

Cousin Practicality (casually says): That’s a good one. Perhaps also introduce gestational diabetes to limit food consumption.

Human Engineer: Do you want to give the baby a tail? Most mammals have tails.

Mrs. Nature (at the same time): Yes!

Mr. Evolution (at the same time): No!

[Everyone looks at each other, unsure of what to do]

Mr. Evolution: They won’t need a tail. They don’t have time to play with it, anyways.

Grandma Reason: Okay, let’s settle this like professionals. They can have a tail for the first eight weeks in the womb; then, they lose it. C’mon, they already have two arms and two legs; that is 20 digits!

Aunt Space (warning look): With the weight and amount of time, they will gain stretch marks on their belly. Are you okay with that?

[Mutters fill the room but eventually, everyone nods]

Human Engineer: It doesn’t make a difference anyway, their breasts will have stretch marks too due to milk production. The bigger question is, after 40 weeks, the baby will be pretty big. How will it come out?

Mrs. Nature: There are a couple of holes in a human body already. We can reuse those holes or create new ones: earhole, nostril, mouth, rectum, and urethra.

Cousin Practicality (shaking head): All of them already have their functions. It might be hard to channel the baby through those holes; we’ll have to reconstruct the entire body in that case!

Mr. Evolution (sternly says): Let’s create a new hole between the urethra and the rectum where there are a few inches of space that don’t serve any purpose.

Grandma Reason: I agree that is the least time-consuming solution. We can also give that hole a stretching capability so the baby can come out. Just like any other mammal, they will have to push the baby out, and if their hole is not big enough … well, they can snip it.

Human Engineer: Can we give them hemorrhoids, you know, swollen veins when they push too hard?

Aunt Space (exclaims): Very creative!

Cousin Practicality (timidly asks): Umm. With all of these obstacles, what if they don’t want to reproduce anymore?

Mrs. Nature: Nonsense, they will think the baby bump makes them look beautiful with my recipe of pregnancy glow. Plus, when they get a hit of pregnancy brain, they will forget the process altogether.

Grandpa Time (grinning): Along with that, give them doses of hormones to uncontrollably crave to have more children. To even it out, sprinkle baby blues hormones after the baby is born.

Grandma Reason: Good idea! After they finish nursing, let’s make their breasts droop like prunes, so they will want to have babies again to make them plump and perky again.

Aunt Space: But what if they figure out a way to make childbirth painless? Then they won’t cherish the child anymore, and there will be overpopulation.

Human Engineer: Well, looking at the position of the new hole. It is almost impossible to have painless childbirth. They need to dig 5-7cm deep into the spine to numb the epidural space of the lumbar region. Ain’t nobody that crazy.

[Everyone laughs out loud]

Mrs. Nature: Okay, here is the critical question. (pause) Who will carry the baby? Female or Male?

[Silence in the room]

Human Engineer: I vote Female. Males already have a lot of pressure to hunt and provide for the family. Plus, their balls will just get in the way of childbirth.

Mr. Evolution (without hesitation, immediately got up and said): Thank you for your valuable inputs. All decisions are final. Today, we have gifted humans the ability to reproduce. This meeting is adjourn.

Side note: During the past two pregnancies and baby training course, I closed my eyes tightly whenever they brought out the epidural needle to avoid freaking out. But to write this story, I had to research how long is the epidural needle and gasped at the image; I am glad I stayed ignorant for so many years.