Short stories with a comical twist on the daily obstacles, aka adventures, of parenthood

Tag: angry

A Baby’s Early Puberty – The Acne Party

At 8 months old, I got my first taste of early puberty—acne of various sizes emerged from the least expected areas – Hand, Foot, and Mouth. I even felt some in my armpit and in between my buttcrack. The acne infestation resulted in a 102 fever and body aches. Every movement felt painful; even my usual magical power was useless. While the burning sensation spread from my chest to my head, my parents thought it would be fun to inject cherry syrup, called “medicine” in my mouth EVERY FEW HOURS.

Oh, my mouth, my poor mouth.

Do you know what’s worse than having two pimples in the back of your mouth that you can’t reach? – Staring at a warm bottle of milk but unable to drink it because the excruciating pain from suckling outweighs hunger. Even my favorite pacifier was useless during this week-long event while my mouth hosted the Acne Party.

Can you imagine how much screaming was involved when I was hungry, sleepy, and in pain – all day?

Luckily, after a week, the Acne Party finally packed its bags to find a new victim, leaving behind a trail of tears and scars. If this is early puberty, I can’t even imagine what teenage puberty will be like.

Can I always be a baby?

Baby Dora’s Duck Face

“What is that face, Dora?” Mommy asked with a chuckle as she pressed her fingers on my pouted lips. As if she can flatten my muscles and mold them at her will. 

I am not a baby anymore; I’m 15 months old already!

From my weeks of thorough analysis, the puckered lips served as an effective mechanism for seeking attention when I am sad, hurt, and embarrassed. This duck face periodically gets the “awws” from strangers when I get shy. Sometimes, I even get a hug when I put on the duck face while deep in thought.

Who would’ve thought that the duck face is so popular? 

“Wah nwah,” I said, turning my head to escape her outreached arms. With my scrunched-up face and pouted lips, I pushed my cheeks up and squinted my eyes as if I could wring them like a wet rag. Humph! The audacity of this woman! How dare she deny me a second serving of Lindt truffle!? Is that too much to ask from your perfect, chubby kid!?

I gazed down as my upper lip covered my nostrils and inhaled deeply. Then slowly walked away as Mommy tried to hug me again. 

I am savoring every minute of guilt so she can’t deny chocolates again. 

Unfortunately, the duck face is useless against Mommy’s stubbornness this time. I should’ve slowly eaten that first one instead of plopping it in my mouth; I wasted a few drops of precious chocolate as it dripped out the corner of my mouth because the round chocolate ball was too big. C’est la vie. 

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