Category: Under 1 Year Old Page 5 of 8

Job Offer for Prestigious Parent Servant Role

On February 6, 2021

In 00 Newborn, Dora's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

We are delighted to offer both of you full-time positions as the Prestigious Parent Servants at the Hurricane Dora Corporation. You will have access to the All-Things-Baby department effective immediately. Please schedule your first ultrasound screening.

As discussed, we are currently short-staffed due to the COVID-19 pandemic, in-person help may be limited, but you will have complimentary on-the-job training. Luckily, your two years of experience at Izzy Tornado Company will prepare you for CEO Hurricane Dora’s arrival in nine months.

Please review the primary responsibilities and benefits below.

Primary Responsibilities Upon the CEO’s Arrival

Ability to supply free food every two hours, in the form of breastmilk or formula, at least for the first month
Time is of the essence; keep track of sleeping and feeding schedules
Provide unlimited love and care, even when the CEO burps or farts in your face
Every moment is precious. Please document memories in the form of pictures and videos
Kissing ass will not get you promoted. Frequent kisses on the forehead will do
Around the clock diaper changes, although be prepared for signature bowel movements
Sleep is a hot commodity; please take advantage when possible
Ensure the safety of the CEO since Izzy Tornado can climb into the crib in a heartbeat

Benefits

Wages will be in the form of smiles and giggles, distributed at least once a day
You will have job security for the rest of your life as your employment with Hurricane Dora Corporation will never terminate
Pension is not guaranteed. It will be assessed upon your retirement
Bonus will be in the form of gifts from your family and friends. Please populate the baby registry at your earliest convenience
Vacations and dinner dates must be approved by the grandparents

Required Company Events

Tummy time on the playmat
Weekly walks to the park
Dancing in the living room
Playdates – Start acquiring friends with kids

Again, welcome to the team. Thank you for your willingness to sacrifice all your energy, sleep, and funds to this great organization.

Yours Truly,

Hurricane Dora Corporation

The Baby’s Sharp Talons

By Hurricane Dora

On January 30, 2021

In 00 Newborn, Dora's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

Snip. I sat there as still as I could as if a deer in the headlights.
Snip. The nail cutter slowly vibrates its teeth along my one-week-old fingers.
Snip. I quickly look away, staring over Mommy’s head, trying to think about anything but the fact that I am losing the precious sharp talons that I was born with. How else am I going to protect myself!?
Snip. I am screaming on the inside. Help!

“Good girl, Dora, you did a good job. Now you won’t scratch your face anymore,” said Mommy as she puts down my hand. So what if I want to scratch my face? I’ve got an itch as I whimper silently. I clench my fist; no longer are the nails digging into my palms.

Did she take the entire nail off? I don’t feel it, yikes!

“Your mittens keep on falling off; let’s use this instead,” said Mommy as she puts a sock over my hand. A sock!? How unladylike! I wave it in the air, bite it – oh no, this is a child-proof sock-mitten.

I sit there defeated, powerless over the dress code.

At least my other hand is not mutilated.

“Now, let’s cut the nails on your left hand,” Mommy said. Can she read minds too? Oh Noooo!!

Baby’s VIP Dining Experience

By Hurricane Dora

On January 23, 2021

In 01 Month Old, Dora's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

Below is a conversation between Daddy and the 1-Month-Old Hurricane Dora before breakfast.

Baby: Waah (whimpering)

Daddy: Welcome to Mommy Cafe. Did you make a reservation today?

Baby: Waaahhh (cries – level 1)

Daddy: I will put you on the waiting list. The head chef will be here shortly (Mommy is in the restroom)

Baby: Wah Waaahhh (louder cries – level 2)

Daddy: Yes, she is coming. Your meal will be ready soon. Today, we are serving the finest liquid gold with a hint of aged steak and baked asparagus.

Baby: Wah Wahhh Waaahhh (fist-fighting and screams – level 3)

Daddy: I know, it’s taking a little longer. There is no need to get physical. Yes, you are speaking to the head manager. Your complaint has been noted.

Baby: Wah Argh Wahhh Argh Waaahhh (kicking and high pitch screams – level 4)

(Mommy sat down on the rocking chair and getting ready to nurse)

Daddy: The head chef is ready. We have a mandatory dress code. Here is your bib before your meal. Enjoy (Daddy handed the Baby to Mommy)

Baby: Humph, humph (catching her breath while drinking large gulps of milk)

Introducing Hurricane Dora

By Izzy Tornado

On January 16, 2021

In 00 Newborn, Izzy's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

The parents had been acting suspiciously for the past two months. They got out my old toys from when I was a teeny tiny baby. I am two years old already. They should know I am too old for those, and I could hardly fit in the swing. Although I didn’t complain because they put another crib next to their bed, I miss sleeping in their room.

One night, two strangers appeared in our house.

Mommy introduced a tall lady with a mask as “Nanny”; she said Nanny would stay with us for a month to help cook and clean. Then Mommy pointed at a sleeping baby in her arms, saying, “this is Baby Sister Dora.” That’s a long name. I waited for Mommy to finish her sentence, to explain how long is the baby staying and what’s her purpose, like what she did for Nanny. So many questions!

I screamed and started crying, throwing a fit on the floor.

I was exhausted because it is past my bedtime, I may be slightly hungry, and did I mention there were two strangers in my home?!

After calming down for a few minutes, Mommy pointed at the two gift bags beside her, saying one is for me, and the other is from Baby Sister Dora. I reached my hands into one of the gift bags and pulled out my favorite chocolate, Ferrero Rocher. OOooo. Now you got my attention. I reached my hands into the bag again and found a grey stuffed puppy. Hmm.

I dropped the puppy on the floor and stared at my box of delicious gold pebbles. Mmmmm.

“Here, can you give this to the Baby Sister Dora?” Mommy interrupted as she handed me the other bag. Why don’t you give it to her? I have important matters at hand, literally. I reached into the bag and pulled out a painting I drew the other day. “Thank you for giving Baby Sister Dora your painting. The pink and purple swirls are so pretty,” said Mommy. I guess I can gift this as I handed the painting to the sleeping baby.

It was then that I got to look at her face to face for the first time. She seems… familiar. She looks… like me. Like, baby me.

Daddy whispered, “can you give the baby a kiss?” Sure, I love giving kisses as I landed a wet one on her forehead. She stirred a little bit. Then I turned my attention back to my chocolates. How many can I eat at once?

Mommy’s Denial About Her Weight Gain

By Izzy Tornado

On January 9, 2021

In 00 Newborn, Izzy's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

Is it me, or is Mommy… getting fat? As a two-year-old, the top of my head barely touches the bottom of her belly; I have to tilt my head backward when I stand in front of Mommy just to see her face.

Her belly is growing so big that I can’t even wrap my arms around her waist anymore when we hug.

It has been even more frustrating in the last few months. She stopped picking me up, claiming that her back hurts. We don’t play tag anymore because she waddles too slowly. She also stopped going on bike rides with Daddy and me.

This weight gain is getting a little ridiculous. Ok, so, how should I tell Mommy nicely that she should consider losing weight? Hmm. Maybe I’ll say,

“Your clothes are getting a little tight; should you lose a few pounds?”

Nah, too straightforward. What about I can tell her during dinner, “are you sure you want a second helping?” or “perhaps you should just eat salad tonight.” Ugh, there’s no easy way.

It also doesn’t help that she’s in denial of her weight gain.

She often points at her belly and says there’s a baby inside of her. Sometimes, she’ll even ask me to kiss the baby. Unsure of where to kiss, since I haven’t seen this “so-called baby,” I would kiss her belly instead. I always get rewarded with “aww, you’re a good girl,” so that’s the right place?

But c’mon. Anyone knows a baby can’t fit in there!

Why would a baby want to hide in a human body? On second thought, maybe the baby is playing hide and seek with me? What a genius! That’s the best place to hide! Where’s the opening?