Category: 00 Newborn

Mommy’s Denial About Her Weight Gain

On January 9, 2021

In 00 Newborn, Izzy's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

Is it me, or is Mommy… getting fat? As a two-year-old, the top of my head barely touches the bottom of her belly; I have to tilt my head backward when I stand in front of Mommy just to see her face.

Her belly is growing so big that I can’t even wrap my arms around her waist anymore when we hug.

It has been even more frustrating in the last few months. She stopped picking me up, claiming that her back hurts. We don’t play tag anymore because she waddles too slowly. She also stopped going on bike rides with Daddy and me.

This weight gain is getting a little ridiculous. Ok, so, how should I tell Mommy nicely that she should consider losing weight? Hmm. Maybe I’ll say,

“Your clothes are getting a little tight; should you lose a few pounds?”

Nah, too straightforward. What about I can tell her during dinner, “are you sure you want a second helping?” or “perhaps you should just eat salad tonight.” Ugh, there’s no easy way.

It also doesn’t help that she’s in denial of her weight gain.

She often points at her belly and says there’s a baby inside of her. Sometimes, she’ll even ask me to kiss the baby. Unsure of where to kiss, since I haven’t seen this “so-called baby,” I would kiss her belly instead. I always get rewarded with “aww, you’re a good girl,” so that’s the right place?

But c’mon. Anyone knows a baby can’t fit in there!

Why would a baby want to hide in a human body? On second thought, maybe the baby is playing hide and seek with me? What a genius! That’s the best place to hide! Where’s the opening?

Attaining Nirvana in the Womb – Part II

By Izzy Tornado

On October 3, 2020

In 00 Newborn, Izzy's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

I can’t see, but there is no point anyway. It is pitch-black in here; my ears are my eyes in this world. It is usually pretty noisy with the stomach factory constantly pumping out gastric acid and the food particles flowing through multiple pathways. Don’t even get me started on the veins; they envelop this world like a rubber band ball.

I overheard that I will get “evicted” soon.

That’s probably another term for attaining nirvana, like what they promised two months ago. Finally, after 41 weeks, I will become a Buddha – I’ve been mentally writing a thesis of how my new life would be like. I would live in a world just as silky as this one, with a constant stream of water flowing around the body to keep me young forever. I don’t want just to survive, I want to live to my fullest potential, you know? Perhaps I’ll get to surface from my capsule and unhook from the life-system to socialize with the other Buddhists and have a fancy glass of premium grade amniotic fluid. Or I’ll have a bigger bouncy house with space to continue practicing my sissonne ballet jumps and double jabs. I looked around me.

Space is limited these days; my arms and legs were pressed so tightly against the inner walls that the only position I like is upside down.

Suddenly the jello sack started vibrating violently. With every passing minute, my ears pounded louder. My head is constantly pulled into gravity’s gaping mouth below. Even with my eyes closed, I can see the dim light piercing through my eyelids. Today I will meet my fate.

I will now let go of my worldly possessions.

Within a few seconds, white sheets surrounded me like a welcome mat. I let out a yelp of surprise as giant “beings” (buddhas?) hover over me. The light is so bright I kept my eyes shut. Ah! I’m levitating! So this is how it feels like to be enlightened!

But it went downhill from there.

As I drifted from point A to B to C in a white towel, I screamed in vain, getting dizzier by the second. “Good, she cried.” What is wrong with these beings? Survival in this world is about who can scream the loudest?

I realized I need to rewrite my thesis as this world is not as peaceful as I envisioned it; it is full of light, hunger, and dry, itchy blankets.

The saddest part is that now I have to share my world with all of these beings.

I kicked my arms and legs in frustration. Can I un-attain nirvana?

Attaining Nirvana in the Womb – Part I

By Izzy Tornado

On September 26, 2020

In 00 Newborn, Izzy's Stories, Under 1 Year Old

“Humm mm Humm.” Something is disturbing my peace; it is circling me as if looking for an entrance. There’s that sound again, near my legs this time. “Humm mm Humm.” Every few weeks, this sound tries to track me down, as if I’m in a snow globe, studying my every move.

I jumped forward and transitioned into a backflip.

It was much easier to maneuver in this jello sack seven months ago; now, I am continually fighting for space. Perhaps it is investigating whether I am worthy of attaining nirvana, testing my dedication as I am in the process of rebirth.

I can barely make out the words, “She’s moving a lot. I can’t find her heartbeat.” It wants my heartbeat.

I shall appease them else they will deny my entrance to enlightenment. I sat down and started meditating.

I listened to the waves in my surrounding with my eyes closed, the fluid gently vibrating as the humming slithers towards me. “Finally got her!… I think she’s sitting up because the heartbeat is above the belly button.” Yes – ma’am, I am trying to concentrate here.

After a minute, the humming stopped, “she’ll be ready in two months,” the words echoed through the chambers.

Yes! Finally! I will attain nirvana! In my euphoria, I kicked my arms and legs for an early celebration. I’m too thrilled to meditate right now; I’ll do it later.