We are delighted to offer both of you full-time positions as the Prestigious Parent Servants at the Hurricane Dora Corporation. You will have access to the All-Things-Baby department effective immediately. Please schedule your first ultrasound screening. 

As discussed, we are currently short-staffed due to the COVID-19 pandemic, in-person help may be limited, but you will have complimentary on-the-job training. Luckily, your two years of experience at Izzy Tornado Company will prepare you for CEO Hurricane Dora’s arrival in nine months. 

Please review the primary responsibilities and benefits below. 

Primary Responsibilities Upon the CEO’s Arrival

  • Ability to supply free food every two hours, in the form of breastmilk or formula, at least for the first month
  • Time is of the essence; keep track of sleeping and feeding schedules
  • Provide unlimited love and care, even when the CEO burps or farts in your face
  • Every moment is precious. Please document memories in the form of pictures and videos
  • Kissing ass will not get you promoted. Frequent kisses on the forehead will do
  • Around the clock diaper changes, although be prepared for signature bowel movements
  • Sleep is a hot commodity; please take advantage when possible
  • Ensure the safety of the CEO since Izzy Tornado can climb into the crib in a heartbeat

Benefits

  • Wages will be in the form of smiles and giggles, distributed at least once a day
  • You will have job security for the rest of your life as your employment with Hurricane Dora Corporation will never terminate
  • Pension is not guaranteed. It will be assessed upon your retirement
  • Bonus will be in the form of gifts from your family and friends. Please populate the baby registry at your earliest convenience
  • Vacations and dinner dates must be approved by the grandparents

Required Company Events

  • Tummy time on the playmat
  • Weekly walks to the park
  • Dancing in the living room
  • Playdates – Start acquiring friends with kids 

Again, welcome to the team. Thank you for your willingness to sacrifice all your energy, sleep, and funds to this great organization. 

Yours Truly,

Hurricane Dora Corporation