Calm down, Parents! It has only been five days since my last bowel movement. I can handle this. I let out a grunt as they pump my legs and massage my belly on the changing table.
“Looks like we don’t have a choice; her stomach is bulging. Let’s get the suppository ready,” said Daddy grimly.
“But she’s only 2-months-old,” Mommy murmured.
Wait, what’s a s..s…s.. sup…tory?
Mommy held a small, white container and a few towels in her hand while Daddy started taking off my diaper. She handed a clear, short rod to Daddy. Okay… this does not seem like my usual diaper change. Can anyone tell me what’s going on?!
They both took a deep breath. I, on the other hand, held my breath as something tickled my butt.
I exhaled as it glides in my butthole.
Ah! It is going to eat me from the inside out! I squeeze my butt muscles, plop, it slid out. I have to get away before it comes back. As if running a marathon, I quickly kicked my legs up and down. Unfortunately, it is a futile effort as I am still on my back.
Mommy grabbed my legs. “You’re okay, Dora,” she gently kissed my forehead as I felt that thing crawling in my butthole again. I squeezed my butt muscles. This time, it stays put… inside. I glanced at Mommy, then at Daddy.
Their concerned expressions matched mine; we were all waiting for someone to make the next move.
After a few moments, I felt a rumble. Then, as if the floodgates opened down there, I unconsciously contracted my abs and pushed. Hard.
“I need wipes, quick!” exclaimed Daddy as I felt the pressure slowly dissipating in my stomach. While the Parents frantically wipe my bottom, I pushed again. It was so satisfying, like squeezing toothpaste.
Let’s make this more fun.
I tilt my head slightly to get a glimpse over my knees, and as if aiming with a water gun, I let out a final push.
Splat. “It’s on the wipes dispenser!” both Parents yelped this time. Aww, man, that is only a foot away. I was hoping it would hit the crib across the room. As Daddy bundled me up to get ready for a nice, warm bath, I saw the traces left behind on the changing table, clothes, and lotion bottle. My first masterpiece.
Update one month later:
I am proud to announce that I had gone up to eight days straight without having a bowel movement AND the doctor said it is normal. Finally, after five more unsuccessful opportunities to aim at the crib, the parents dropped the suppository method and gave me a few drops of prune juice every day instead. It was pretty effective, just not as fun.